May 28, 2014

• Working Moms

  Disclaimer - I realize that there are some family situations where Mom has to work for the survival of the family. I admire such women for their courage in stepping in to bridge a financial gap. That being said...

  I remember taking a pencil box over to the little daughter of a neighborhood friend. She had finished a year of Kindergarten and I naturally assumed that she was about to become a first grader. No, I was told, she still had another year of Kindergarten, because kids go to Kindergarten for two years in Japan. When I had my own kids and it came time to choose a Kindergarten for them, I was even more surprised to hear that some Kindergartens offered three year programs. Why would I want to park my kids somewhere other than by my side for three years that will never come back to me? I really liked them better than that!

  There was a program on TV this evening about families where one parent is living apart from the family because he/she has been transferred to another city and the family cannot go along. Sometimes it is because the mother has a career and cannot transfer that to her husband's new place of work. Other times it is because the kids are in private schools for which they have taken a stiff entrance exam and paid out a lot of money in entrance fees. In this evening's program the mother was living apart from her two little preschool boys for the sake of her career. She would Skype them over breakfast every morning. When asked what made them happier, Mommy or the goodies she brings them on weekends, they yelled, "Goodies!" without a moment of hesitation. Mommy then tears up for the camera, as indeed she should. Meanwhile, Dad is taking care of the babies and holding down a job as well. Is all of this really necessary? Sure, the little ones can be thrown into Day Care, but who are they going to bond with? The Day Care worker may be devoted to her work, but when the child goes off to school the bond is severed. If Mommy is disengaged or not there for the children, what does that teach them about love and sacrificing one's own needs and wants for another? It teaches them only that "I" and my self fulfillment are most important. Is that really a good lesson to teach little ones?

  Sometimes I feel like today's society is lying to women. They are told that they are entitled and obligated to have their own career life and their children, too, but can this really be done? How can a mother go into an office and forget about her little ones? How can she give her full attention to her career if she is going to care for children? I don't think a woman can do these two jobs and do them properly, and society is deceiving her it says that she can and must. She may look like a winner who has the best of both worlds, but she is in a way robbing herself of the joy that she may find in giving her life to others instead of keeping it for herself. No one can buy a mother's love for children, it can only be given.

  I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with my babies, and hear them speak their first words and take their first steps. I could do part time work when they were in Kindergarten or at school, but they were always most important. I remember one day in Izumo Sonny B came home from school with his neck crooked from falling off of some piece of play equipment. The next morning did not show much improvement, so I told them at my City Hall workplace that I was taking that day off to take Sonny B to the doctor. I remember telling him B I had taken work off that morning because nothing was more important to me than knowing that he was all right, not even the Mayor of the City himself. I don't know if he remembers that or not, but I hope so.

  I also feel apprehension when I see mothers pushing a stroller with a Smart Phone clutched in one hand, but that is another topic.

  • 21:19
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