Month: April 2021

  • Operator's Manual for Kidz

    A pediatric therapist, with more than 30 years of experience, came up with a list of what she believes kids need and don’t need.
    What our children don’t need:
    1. Cell phones when they’re in grade school. Over the years, I cannot tell you one good thing that can come from this.
    2. Unlimited access to social media. There is very little that is healthy on social media for children and it is getting worse.
    3. So many toys that they can’t even think of something to want at birthday or holiday times. Too much of anything leaves children unable to be full. They become like buckets with holes in them.
    4. Televisions in their rooms. Rooms are for sleeping. Good sleep hygiene is a dying art for too many children.
    5. To be able to control the emotional climate of the home. Moody kids should not be allowed to hold the whole house hostage. If a child wants to be moody, he can go to his room and be moody by himself. Everyone else need not suffer.
    6. Too much indoor time. Our kids have become hermits with social media and high tech games. It is ruining their social skills. It’s also taking a toll on their physical well-being.
    7. Too many activities outside of school. No wonder this generation is so anxiety-ridden. They are overloaded. If we want to teach them to take care of themselves as they age, we must teach them to do that by our example and by limiting their extracurricular activities. Scripture even recognizes the need to rest.
    8. To be able to disrespect any authority. Even authority that you as a parent dislike or the child dislikes should still be respected. There will always be an authority in your child’s life even when your child is 50.
    9. To always call the shots. Children who get to always choose where to eat, where to play, and what the family does end up being brats.
    10. Constant approval and pats on the back. You will not always be around to do this. Children need to learn to be proud of themselves when they do something good whether anyone tells them or not.
    What our children do need:
    I. Rest. They play hard. Their bodies need rest to grow and develop.
    2. Uninterrupted family time. The most important people to a child are those under the same roof. Make family time purposeful and protected.
    3. Outdoor play time where they can explore and create. All kids need free time to imagine.
    4. Rules and expectations. Be clear. Be concise. And don’t be afraid to give them.
    5. Consistent discipline. If a rule is broken, a child needs to know what to expect. All fear is not a bad thing. There is a fear that can represent respect.
    6. Parents who love them and love each other. Security begins here.
    7. For you as a parent to say “no” sometimes. Your child does not need a lollipop or a new shirt every time you go to Walmart.
    8. Hugs. Physical touch affects the development of children.
    9. The ability to share their feelings about anything as long as they are respectful.
    10. The most precious gift that a parent can give any child is to demonstrate a personal relationship with God and consistently teach that child through your actions what having faith in God really means. In the toughest times of their lives, they will learn in large part to rely on God by the example you display for them.

  • Spa Day

    Today's fun - The girls had another spa day, this time at Gokuraku-yu in Tama Center. It was less expensive than the last place we went to in Nagayama. Upon entering is a red wine colored bath where all the ladeez can have a group soak. Thinking of it as anything but a wine colored hot tub fills one's mind with grotesque images, so let's just leave it at that. LOL
    There were also jet baths and outdoor pools. Mommy went in to a sauna, so I watched Haru in the outdoor pool. A lady came in to join us and H remarked that she had a belly as big as mine. I know she was just trying to pay the lady a compliment, but... Some compliments are just better unmade.
    After we were thoroughly clean and soaked to pruneship, Haru found that it was interesting to collect all of the keys from the vacant lockers, which sounds like something that her Uncle B would have done at the same age. (Reminds me of the time he tried to unlock a door with a toothpick and broke it off short enough that I was glad that I happened to have a needle to dig it out of the keyhole.)
    It was a fun day.

  • Let them go!!

    Yesterday's fun - The frog eggs that dotter pulled out of a local pond developed in to tadpoles. We have been feeding them pond algae and they seemed fine with that up until yesterday morning when they were not too peppy. It seems that at a certain stage in their development, the make a switch from herbivore to carnivore, so I decided that it was time to liberate them by returning them to the pond from whence they came. I put them in a little jar and set off on my mission.
    When I arrived at the pond, who else should be there but Haru's day care class!! Of course everyone has to run over so see what I am doing. Haru thinks that I have come to take her home and climbs up on the bike. Sheesh! Day care teacher is so interested in the tadpoles that I am unable to refuse her when she requests that I fork them over so they can continue raising them at day care. They are starting to sprout little legs, and I hope that they make it to full frogdom.

  • Reality Check

    From the post of a liberal FB friend.
    Reality check.
    From new friend David
    "I need to drive my two-year-old to daycare tomorrow morning. To ensure we arrive alive, we won't take public transit (Oscar Grant). I removed all air fresheners from the vehicle and double-checked my registration status (Daunte Wright), and ensured my license plates were visible (Lt. Caron Nazario). I will be careful to follow all traffic rules (Philando Castille), signal every turn (Sandra Bland), keep the radio volume low (Jordan Davis), and won't stop at a fast food chain for a meal (Rayshard Brooks). I'm too afraid to pray (Rev. Clementa C. Pickney) so I just hope the car won't break down (Corey Jones).
    When my wife picks him up at the end of the day, I'll remind her not to dance (Elijah McClain), stop to play in a park (Tamir Rice), patronize the local convenience store for snacks (Trayvon Martin), or walk around the neighborhood (Mike Brown). Once they are home, we won't stand in our backyard (Stephon Clark), eat ice cream on the couch (Botham Jean), or play any video games (Atatiana Jefferson).
    After my wife and I tuck him into bed around 7:30pm, neither of us will leave the house to go to Walmart (John Crawford) or to the gym (Tshyrand Oates) or on a jog (Ahmaud Arbery). We won't even walk to see the birds (Christian Cooper). We'll just sit and try not to breathe (George Floyd) and not to sleep (Breonna Taylor)."
    These are things white people simply do not have to think about."
    -David
    My response:
    I don't have time to look into all of these cases, but I will say something about the most recent one.
    The loss of any life is a tragedy, but this is very simplistic and perhaps misleading. Can I just look at the example of Daunte Wright? He was not shot for having an air freshener. From which part of the narrative did that information arise? I read that the air freshener story was something that Daunte told his mother in a phone call. Anyone please correct me if I am wrong.
    He should never have been shot and the policewoman made an incredibly horrible mistake. Women unfortunately do not have the physical strength of men, and are more likely to compensate by using weapons. A person who does not know a gun from a taser has no business doing the job of a policewoman.
    That being said, Wright was under an arrest warrant on illegal gun charges and robbing a woman at gunpoint. He was to appear in court and did not comply, which is why he was being arrested after the traffic stop. Rather than cooperate, he chose to get back in his car and attempt to drive off. There was no good outcome to his choice. At best, it would only have gotten him more prison time. It is a tragedy that the events played out as they did, but to say that he was shot for having an air freshener is just untrue. This kind of simplistic statement seems to give people who don't bother to check out the entire story tacit permission to riot and loot, causing further death and destruction of property and businesses, both black and white.
    That being said, may I share an experience of my own? My parents taught me that God loves everyone the same. I am married to a person of another race.
    We lived in New Haven, Conn. for a couple of years in student housing near Winchester Ave., which divided the town into its two halves. It was Halloween, and I prepared treats for the local tricksters. What made me decide to shut down shortly after was when one of the boys (taller than me) that came to my door akst me where ma husbin' was. What kind of a thing was that to be asking? I consider that a threat and decided that it was not safe for white me to be handing out candy to young black potential rapists. I was afraid to participate in Halloween for the duration of our stay in that city. When cars were stolen in our neighborhood, guess on which side of town they were always found.... I could cite other examples. They are the ones who taught me that it pays to be cautious. Does that make me racist?

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  • Good Friday Sermon from Old Hat

    I am thinking
    I am thinking about how much Jesus suffered. Especially there at the end of his life. Even more so at the spiritual separation from his Father.
    I am thinking that his suffering was not in vain though. None of his suffering was wasted or useless. God knew that a savior who could not understand our suffering would not be very comforting to those of us who have been so wounded in this life. We needed a Jesus who could understand how rejected and despised we have been and yet would love us anyway.
    I am thinking about that long next day of mourning. The disciples, in hiding, fearing for their own lives from the same mobs who called for the death of Jesus. Doubting everything they had believed in so deeply. A good friend had betrayed their trust and caused the death of their leader. Maybe that’s why they didn’t believe the women when they told them they had seen Jesus. The government was watching them because they thought the disciples might try to steal the body. To what end? The Pharisees even openly accused them of it. How could people think that of them?
    I am thinking that the long day of their testing was not in vain though. Jesus did come to them and prove himself to them. He chastised them for their lack of faith, yes, but he forgave them. Then he trusted them to be his messengers of hope to the world. That makes me think he will forgive my doubts, too. That makes me think he might trust me to share this hope that he has given me.
    I am thinking of Barabbas. How terrifying it must have been to hear an angry crowd screaming for him by name. To think you were going to be crucified that Friday. Finding out that Jesus had taken your place. That must have felt good. And unreal. I wonder what he did with that unexpected second chance?
    I am thinking of the thief on the cross. The one that asked Jesus to remember him. The one who never went to church or communion or the river to be baptized, and yet went to paradise with Christ that day. I am thinking there is hope for those who come to Jesus outside of orthodox religion.
    I am thinking of all that is wrong in the world today. The same God Almighty who was aware of all that we would say was wrong on that first Good Friday, good for us because Jesus paid our debt, is aware of all that is wrong today. He is not caught off guard. God is not surprised. He is working out his plans right now.
    I am thinking that our job, like the disciples on that hard Saturday, is to keep the faith. To cling to our hope. To trust the Savior who is familiar with our troubles and suffering. To wait for him. To be ready. To have the courage to share the hope that we have because of what we know about Jesus even though there is so much we do not know.
    I am thinking of you. I am thinking how much you have suffered. How you have been betrayed by those you trusted. How people have falsely accused you of things for their own ends. Of how lonely and abandoned you have been made to feel. I am thinking that the balance to all of that is that the one and only begotten son of the Holy God laid down his life for you. You must be important. You must matter. You must be worth more than you can begin to imagine. Jesus loved you so much that he went to the cross, went into the tomb. For you. That you might have hope. That you might have a savior who could understand how hard this life has been for you.
    I am thinking of you and praying for Jesus to keep his promise to send his Comforter to you. To soothe your soul and to remind you of all that Jesus said.
    I am thinking that you are waiting and waiting and waiting. I am thinking that you are not alone. No matter how you feel. We are waiting together through this hard day of mourning.
    I am thinking that you are loved with an eternal love.

usalapinhazzer