October 9, 2002
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Ramble 11/2002
Mr. Schleuter had asked them as to how you get along w/the Japanese women. ..From all indications things are itche-bon (sp) Ichi-ban....
Well, to be honest, not really. I find it difficult to make friends with Japanese ladies, to tell the truth, because I think that we are programmed quite differently in the human relations file, and the things that we expect from a friendship are quite different. I expect conversation and feedback, and they expect agreement and harmony to the point where it is impossible to express an honest opinion, so relations seem to be very surface oriented to my eye. I have found a few precious ladies who will have an honest discussion, but those are few and far between. I think that the sense of humor is different, too, along with the fact that these ladies are fearful of a good belly laugh. On the surface, I do appear to blend in extremely well, but I know that behind my cooperative mask. I am only adjusting to them to get along smoothly. And, if that is what I need to do, then that is what should be done. It is only proper. Everyone thinks that I act very Japanese, but I just know the patterns to follow in behaviour. Perhaps the real me is a bit more outrageous, but if I let that out of the bag, theladies would run away in droves. Haha!
Where does your dear couple lady live? I think that one needs to have a balance of being a chameleon and being one's self. If you let it "all hang out" you may overpower and shock the other ladies. You need to do alot of
observing as to what works and what does not, and then to change your colors to blend in. But on the other hand, you cannot blend in so totally that you lose your own self, either. So, one kind of develops a public face and a private face, and maybe that is what the other Japanese ladies do, too. I don't know. The pendulum swings back and forth. Perhaps the best way to be is to know that as much as one would like to mix and mingle with the other ladies, our most important relationship must be with God. No one else can satisfy us or fill our needs. We must realize that God loves us and surrender to how He would have us to be in our relationships to others. So, the question is not, how can I have friends, but rather, what does God want to do in this person's life through me? That gets our eyes off of ourselves and helps us to focus on the other person. We are loving them rather than complaining that we are not getting enough love ourselves.I guess that we just have to "get a life," meaning the life that God gives, not the one that we would imagine or want for ourselves. How long has this lady been in the country to which God has sent her? Does she speak the local language? That is so basic that it goes without saying. She may just need to give herself time to get used to things, and realize that it is not our feelings about our present situation that we should trust, but the God who has promised to complete a good work in us. And, everybody feels down once in awhile. She needs to be patient with herself and know that feeling is like a wave that will pass. She must not wallow in the wave when it is upon her, but know that Jesus is there in the waves with her. This is where she must look for strength. Perhaps in such situations one must realize that by suffering, we are being changed for the better and conformed to the image of Christ, and know that we are commanded to give thanks in all situations. If we refuse to do this, we waste the precious suffering that God means for the good of ourselves and others. God is faithful and responsible. He will never forsake us, and it is an insult to Him to imagine that He ever could.
Perhaps it is best not to let the society define us, or to define ourselves, but to let God define us, and they the pendulum stops swinging between society and self, and we find a bit of peace and stability. God had designed each one with all of the perfect ingredients, and then plants us in the best soil for us to bloom. Does any of this make sense?? How was that for a sermon? I am not saying anything that I do not have to listen to myself!! That is how I know it. Haha!
